In our home today, we have our 3 kids. Being a blended family as well as foster parents, there are often 5 or more kids here at a time. The question of pocket money comes up frequently and so does the nagging to have kids help with chores. If you ask around, all kids have chores. They range from taking care of animals to the dishwasher to the vacuum. Some get paid, some don't. But what is right? I sure haven't got it figured out yet and my oldest is about to turn 15! 

A family is a team and in a team we all have positions. Offence and Defence. And, my new tactic is to use that team play as a way to conquer my house. We are breaking the chores down into three groups. Red for difficult, Orange for medium and Green for easy. I'm going to write the chores I want done in cards, and categorise them accordingly. Each family member is going to get a traffic light system of chores. Parents included!



As far as pocket money goes, we have tried that. Did it work? No, I say. I think it encouraged the kids to spend the money on junk food at school. Having coins in their pocket, and an open canteen in school meant that they were spending their money on food! What? It was never enough for a delicious thing at school (a chicken parma sub is $10 in high school!) so it went to biscuits, cakes and ice-creams! So pocket money just became a way to eat junk food. 

So, how do we manage the "need for spending money" situation? Well, we set up a debate type system. The kids need to come to us and argue a point to us about what they want money for, what they need it for and how they are going to use it. It has to be a worthwhile and sometimes gets to be hilarious as they argue that they want to buy a slurpee from school because its a hot day. We argue reasons back of course, like it might dirty their socks, and they are learning how to stand up for themselves, think things through and be creative.


Who knows if what we are doing is right or wrong? Its always such a gamble and everyone seems to be an expert, but you. This is what I do and hopefully if you are confused about your kids and chores, maybe I've given some ideas!

Written by guest writer Alice Slamani. Known as The Laundry Fairy and also Creative Consultant at gFocus Photography (www.gFocusPhotography.com)


Some of our jobs!

With so much tragedy going on in the USA over the last week, it has got me wondering about the safety of our kids. First there was the bombing at a public event in Boston. Then a horrific explosion in Waco Texas and the shooting at MIT today. Although, we are in Australia, do you ever wonder if this sort of tragedy will reach us here? And, if it was to, how do we keep our kids safe?

Mr Rogers, a legendary TV host, teaches us to explain to our kids, in a time of crisis “To Look For The Helpers”. To show our kids to look for those heroes that run into fires and save people. Helpers who are the first on scene to rescue and bring relief. We look up to these heroes as super heroes, and we honestly believe they are. I really believe that it is a great way to comfort our young ones when it comes to world tragedy. But, it still doesn’t teach our kids how to keep safe, or protect our own hearts when we send our kids out into the world without us.

A dear friend’s son was involved in a horrific car accident yesterday. He is lucky to escape with his life, let alone survive with only a singed eyebrow from the airbag. He’s an adult and she still cannot comprehend how to keep her adult son safe. So, its not just us with young ones who panic, who worry and who look to whatever higher power to keep our little ones safe.

The debate continues. Do we show our kids tragedy and prepare them for what life can bring? Or do we shelter them from danger in the world. How do we balance what is right and what is wrong. Only trial and error can really tell, and evaluating the maturity of the child and what they can handle.

I’ve covered stranger danger with my kids (who are mostly teens now), and the “icky factor” that some people carry that make them nervous. I wonder if it helped or harmed my almost 15 year old son recently. He was with his friends, out at a day at the beach when he was confronted by a gaggle of older boys. About 8 20 year old boys approached him when his instinct was to be cautious. That little voice inside of him said “beware”. I’ve always told my kids that the little voice inside of them is God’s way of teaching us right from wrong (although we are not an overly religious family). The “Lads”, as he described them, assaulted him and stole his precious iPhone he got for Christmas. He was distraught at the vulgarity of these Lads, and gave into their demands. Even more so, he was distraught at himself for not fighting for himself. So, did I teach him right from wrong? Did I teach him how to handle danger? I thought I had, but I never covered this. But, his inner voice told him to give in to them, and perhaps that saved him? I will never know.

I guess in summary I am saying, bad stuff happens in the world. We have to trust that our young people know what is right and what is wrong when it comes to danger. We have to trust our own parenting to teach them. No matter how much or how little exposure to violence or global tragedy will make them prepared for the adventures they go on, when you think they are safe. Maybe this is the time for belief in a higher power than us. My friend, who’s son was in the car accident, believes in angels and that angels watched over her son. So what harm can come if we just step back and have a little faith.


Written by guest writer Alice Slamani. Known as The Laundry Fairy and also Creative Consultant at gFocus Photography (www.gFocusPhotography.com)